Night of Revenge

As I wake I feel different, not good different, but weird different. I have a pounding headache threatening at the back of my head. My bed seems much harder than normal and the sun from my window isn't hitting my face.  I open my eyes and look around the floor for my dog that normally sleeps on the ground beside my bed.  Instead I see a room full of cement. I obnoxiously jump out of the thin, dusty mattress that I had somehow gotten into the night before, head spinning. I'm still wearing the jeans and American Eagle sweater I had put on the day before. The last thing I remember is my friends coming over to help me forget about the job I had just got fired from. You know what that consists of, alcohol, ice cream, and more alcohol. I was very upset, mainly at my boss, for firing me for no apparent reason. As I was pacing around my cell I reached into my jean pockets and found five objects, and then I had gained some remembrance of last night.  Staring intently at a ripped piece of paper with a pencil scratched phone number on it I remembered a guy giving me his number at a club. The girls thought it would be a good idea to go to a club and dance the night away. This guy thought he would be nice and tell me I was too wasted to talk so he wanted me to call when I was sober. As I started thinking about how I was definitely not going to call that guy I snapped back to what I was previously thinking about, how I got here. I then looked at the next two items from my pocket, a rusted nail and a clear, sticky spoon. It then came to me that after we got tired of dancing we went to an old, abandoned building a few blocks from where we were. I needed to vent and we decided to stop at this building to sit around and talk. Oh, and the spoon? Well venting means a lot of ice cream, remember? I knew I was coming closer to finding out how I had gotten in this rancid smelling pen. I then found a receipt. My eyes widened and my heart started beating a little faster as I read "10 inch butcher knife, $40.86 and 2 gallons of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup, $19.94". I started thinking, "Did I murder someone? Am I going to be here forever? Who did I kill? "Where did all that ice cream go?" and "Why did I spend so much money on a knife, didn't I have coupons?". That's when I found the last thing in my pocket, some pieces of a fern plant. Then it hit me. I wanted revenge on my boss for firing me for absolutely no reason. So, the girls drove me to the building I worked, knife in my hand. I went in the back, hidden exit that we leave unlocked for late night needs. I hustled up the 3 flights of stairs until I got to the floor that my boss's office is on. That's when it happened, I vigorously started stabbing at his favorite fern plant in front of his office door. I knew he loved that plant as much as I loved my job so I wanted him to feel the same pain that I was in. Unfortunately, one of my previous co workers went back to the office to grab some late work that she needed to complete before the next morning. The co worker saw my knife and immediately had the police on the line. I guess I'm in here for being crazy, murdering a plant, public intoxication, or possibly all three of those reasons.